Patterns exist everywhere, and consider the definition of a pattern: a form or model, a natural or chance configuration, or a reliable sample of traits, acts, tendencies or other observable characteristics of a person. Ah, that last one, the one about traits, acts, and tendencies, that’s the one. And the word “reliable” plays an important part in that definition. The very nature of a pattern is reliable repetition… a thing to be repeated over and over.
We all exhibit patterns, and patterns in a person’s life are very telling… that is if you know how to decode them. Most people don’t. In fact, most people can’t even decode their own patterns, no matter how many times they’re repeated.
Each one of us has our own reality – not shared with anyone else. You have one perception – your own. One viewpoint – your own. Try asking someone who has never lived outside of Idaho to explain what it’s like to live in the Caribbean, in Mexico, or in New York City. They can’t because they have never lived an alternate reality, an alternate life. Patterns make people. Patterns create lives.
I’ve written the book, The Hijacker: Overcome Self-Sabotaging Behavior because I understand that patterns are revealing, but the most important thing about them – in fact, the only way to really design and live the life you want – is to be able to decode them. Decoding those patterns helps us understand what purpose they serve. They reveal what blind spots we have. These blind spots are harmful if not uncovered. They cause the greatest frustrations and heartache in our lives. In my line of work and in coaching through the years, I’ve heard so many people say things at the start of our work together like, “I’ve been to many counselors and none has helped.” Or “I worked with a coach and what they suggested worked… for a while, but then things got mucky again, and the same problems cropped up.”
The latter statement doesn’t really surprise me because the previous counselor/coach/therapist failed to decode the pattern. I’m happy to tell you that one of the other statements we’ve heard in our business is, “You weren’t the first coach I went to but you were the last.” Why? Because of the results. Not because I have some sort of magic fairy dust, but because I’ve been able to uncover the diagnostic code and that makes all the difference. Without understanding the diagnostic code, you will never arrive at a solution.
Imagine you had an issue with your car, and that issue occurred over and over and over. So you took it to your mechanic who systematically repaired and replaced various parts only to have the issue recur. Frustrating, right? Why can’t he just fix it for good? The problem is that the mechanic is not truly identifying what’s wrong. He’s looking at the symptoms and patterns of the problem, but until he gets to the real underlying issue, he’ll keep trying to replace parts in an attempt to solve the problem.
That analogy has a certain 20th century ring to it because now mechanics can run the diagnostics on the car’s built-in software to get the diagnostic code that will lead them to the solution. Ah, the diagnostic code. That code leads to the accurate solution and repair of the problem.
This is a similar challenge people have when they repeatedly try various therapists, counselors, coaches, and consultants. If those professionals are not able to accurately uncover the diagnostic code, they’ll be fairly ineffective at achieving the desired end result. This isn’t to say that there wouldn’t be certain improvements; there most certainly would be, even if only for a short time as long as the client or participant was actively following through on the “program.” However, without the diagnostic code, you’ll never get the solution you need to achieve what you want. Without the diagnostic code, you’re bound to continue self-sabotaging your own results.
You find yourself going through the same struggle over and over and facing the same challenge or challenges repeatedly. And to be blunt, you will continue to do that until you understand your own diagnostic code. Perhaps you face the same problem repeatedly in your marriage or relationship but can never seem to finally get past it… for good. Or you’re working like crazy and dedicating your entire life to your business but can never break through to the level you want.
The good news is that we all actually have a diagnostic code. This code is what I refer to as the Human Operating System. It’s operating behind the scenes and driving most of your behavior. If you’re one who’s been to various counselors or therapists without getting a permanent way to overcome the repeated patterns and behaviors that stand in your way, it’s highly likely that (even for the most well-trained, highly counseled or coached individuals) you have not accurately had your operating system diagnosed. As a result, you continuously try to fix, repair, and resolve the issues and challenges that seem to continue to creep back into your life over and over again. Just like that mechanic who keeps replacing and repairing parts without ever actually fixing the car for good.
The only way to effectively create your desired outcomes in business, your career, relationships, and in your life is to be able to practice Conscious Discernment. Conscious Discernment is having the ability to be fully aware of your choices and make the proper choice that is in alignment with your bigger commitments. When you are unaware of your unconscious drivers, when you have too many blind spots, you don’t have the ability to practice Conscious Discernment. You may think you have a clear design in your world, but I submit that that design is still a result of your unconscious driver – what I call the hijacker of your life. Unless you’ve had your Human Operating System identified and brought into the forefront of your consciousness, it’s still running your life in the background.
To learn how to unlock your Operating System – read The Hijacker: Overcome Self-Sabotaging Behavior